Full Stop…Silly Show Report Birmingham

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So…Birmingham…An interesting start to the festival; Anna had to have a nose job and have it poked around at like playdough, which meant that even though she’s super dench and hard core she couldn’t do the shows.

Thankfully miss Gemma Fairlie saved the day and stepped in last minute..what a hero (although I would have payed good money to see Neil take on the role….the lovers scene would have taken on a whole new dimension and the red top would have fit like a glove!)

So we traveled up to Brum and discovered the magic that is Rob’s Brummy Turtle (his new 5 week course in Turtle Technique will be open to applicants soon. I know Gemma will be first to enrol!) The car journey also served as our first rehearsal space; we used traffic jams to our advantage and practiced the ravers moves, complete with sound effects. Although we did refrain from using “chinky chinky chinky”…not sure that would have gone down well in the Chinese Gay quarter where the festival was taking place.

Steph managed to get us an awesome rehearsal space at the hippodrome where we continued our intense/condensed rehearsal. We reworked what we needed to; A particular favourite being in workers where we had Gemma passed out for most of the sequence!

The shows brought us many delights, including a near rugby tackled Grannie Annie by Theresa (one of the lovely festival helpers) who thought that Grannie Annie was a member of the public trying to cross the performance space! Lucky Steph was close by to restrain this Brummy bouncer! Derek the duck was thrown a little early and was instead upstaged by Deano the Dog-who’s ears flapped nicely in slow motion across the battlefield; weird that he sounded so like Derek! Apple sauce in the hair; ripped hazmat right on seam of the ass; rainy last show resulting in cautious Ninjas; Off stage we had an underage helper who carried props, tweeted and text about the show, promoting us as “the amazing twerking grannies!”

Also off stage, amongst playing pool, eating sushi, feasting on all you can eat breakfast (which included prosecco…of course we didn’t drink any of this…unfortunately! #professional #withtheproduceranddirctor) We managed to meet with a Giraffe named Dolly; a guy called Dave, who told others he was Maria’s brother and worked as part of the company playing the drunk on the bus stop; and a chlostraphobic, crazy guy in the lift who thought we had bombs in our suitcases!

Amongst the last minuite changes, Gemma stepping in, Max’s inisiation, long drive, little sleep on the first night due to noise, nerves and notion of sleeping in crisp packets, we incurred only the following injuries;
For Steph,a bump to the head as she tried to get the laptop from Gemma’s car and mild deafness caused by Maria snoring (thankfully this is an injury Anna has finally recovered from); a hurt elbow for Gemma as she slapped the wet wipe across Maria’s face in yummy mummies; a sore wrist for Rob incurred from repetitive physical movement (take that information how you will); For Maria, a bleeding cut on the elbow caused by super ninja menu throwing by Rob; scratches to the chest but who knows where from! For Max, temporary blindness as he walked in the changing rooms to the full moon extravaganza of Rob’s arse! (There’s an image one wont forget in a hurry!); and finally a sore stomach for Jake who at breakfast “over estimated his bacon capacity”.

However despite the minor injuries  we still managed to get in…some sweat farts; classic Chadwick “hello’s”; a visit from our very own Anna Simpson complete with beautifully straight nose; arse slaps; nipple tweaks; a single fanny clamp; great responses and some of the biggest crowds at the festival! We laughed, we bled, we rocked this festival…enough said!
Birmingham Summer in Southside festival August 2015